On Monday history was made at the
Chapel of Our Lady at the Presidio in San Francisco as the first-ever state
recognized human-animal marriage took place.
Local resident 35-year-old Paul
Horner was the groom during the ceremony. Joining him was his faithful dog Mac
who is 36-years-old in dog years. Mac also decided to be the groom but ended up
wearing a white veil at the last moment.
Father McHale who officiated the
outdoor wedding told reporters he was extremely happy to be a part of this
joyous moment of life. “This is the definition of true love my friends. There
is nothing more sacred than the bond between a man and his faithful dog,”
McHale said. “Now, since it is recognized as a legally binding marriage in
the state of California, Mr. Horner and Mac will have all the same tax benefits
and everything else coming to them that a regular married couple would receive.
It’s a fantastic day to be alive!”
In the book of California’s State
Laws and Regulations there is a little known law that was passed as the state
was first forming in 1850. According to article 155, paragraph 10, it clearly
states:
If a man and a man can get married
and a woman and a woman can get married, if ever comes that day, then a human
and animal will have the exact same rights to marriage in every eye of the law.
God help us if this ever is to happen!
In attendance was Horner’s entire
family who flew in from Hawaii to witness the event. Mac had her puppies on
hand and making a special celebrity appearance was Alex from Stroh’s and Spuds
Mckenzie.
“I just love my Mac so much, I can’t
wait till we can finally get back to the honeymoon sweet in Montana where
bestiality is legal. Gosh, get with the times California! We can marry here
just fine, but love making is a big no-no,” said Horner. “People keep asking me
why I wanted to marry a dog. I told them I just want the same god given rights
that every person in California is allowed to have. Don’t tell me I can’t marry
my dog. I don’t tell you that you can’t marry a 500 lb woman with gas issues.
That’s your decision. Don’t tread on me. I love my dog and I know he loves me a
hundred times more than any gay wedding out there.”
With this wedding between a man and
a male dog now on the books, one can only ask what is in store next?
A man marrying a toaster? A toaster
marrying a dog? A toaster marrying a toaster?
America, what happened to the sanctity of
marriage?
